turbotaxlyrics

Got my pen, got my paper, got my W2
But when it's time to pay my tax, I don't know what to do
So I call up Uncle Sam, "Sam I know I'm a fool,
But this tax stuff's tough, where they show all the rules?"

Well it's pretty simple, Remz, and you're prob'ly gonna laugh
Use your head to make some dough then go ahead and send us half
Then we take all the money, throw it in a pile
Toss it at some problems and we hope it makes you smile

So I send you half my money, where's it go from there?
Like I said, pork politics and "road repair"
Man, that ain't American, that all that's on the list?
I want you to find out, go and ask the IRS

You got the state, got the federal, the county and the town
Estate and sales, value added, property--and a frown
Medicare, Medicaid--meta-who? meta-what?
I better better get paid or you know what

I guess the IRS don't like to be defrauded
And if you even try, they'll complete an audit
And that's a process you don't want to see get started
Burden of proof's on you, yeah it's real retarded

But you can get TurboTax, it's da bomb da bomb
And it's as easy as taking your mom to prom
All you gotta do is hit up turbotax.com
So when you get ripped off, it doesn't take too long

Filing forms can freakin' make your face all purple
Pain and strain your brain because you're racing circles
But Vanilla Ice wouldn't shove you into hurdles
Vanilla Ice? I loved him in Ninja Turtles!

So why use an accountant that's sorta gaudy?
Or more #2's than a porta-potty?
Don't let those fools keep your refund up in a closet
When even Ice is getting a direct deposit

Habib here, son, not having usual fun
Because I'm paying capital gains on my mutual funds
But you won't see me wishing on a four-leaf clover
When the IRS goes and asks me to bend over

Cuz with TurboTax deductions be hard to miss
So you can tell the IRS to audit this
It's got cool tools like audit defense
So now I can deduct my camel expense

They say two guarantees in life are death and taxes
But on the PC you don't deal with pens and faxes
Just let the software handle all exempt subtractions
While you play solitaire--now that's real relaxin'!

So to sum it up, they tax your clothes and food, dude
Cuz we know how to spend your money more than you do
So for April 15th, save what you can
TurboTax...now that's a real good plan.