McDonald's: The Rap
Lyrics by: Remy
Sittin' on the couch with the morning post
With a cold cup of coffee and some boring toast
Thinkin' I'm-a change it up--yeah that's always fun
What you reckon, Remz?  A McDonald's run

So we hit the couch cushions, need some dollars, friend
Yo, I found a five.  Man, that's Canadian.
How 'bout a loonie?  A twonie?  A spoon or The Goonies?
Oh, it's 10:25.  Dude, you gotta move, G.

Got the cash, got the car, got the pedal to the floor
Speed limit's 25, but I'm doing 34
Going drive-thru style, man it's fast express
You can call it trans fat, I call it happiness

Roll up to the teller fella with a minute to spare
Frenchy with a headset, "can I take your order?"
A McGriddle with a little sweet and sour there, son
A McMuffin, then be stuffin' muffins up in my trunk

Then a tray or two of hotcakes, man I can't decide, uh...
All's I know is hit them things with Aunt Jemimah
How 'bout an egg fajita for some Texas flavor?
No drama but my momma wants a breakfast bagel

Don't forget my #4, or there'll be hell to spend
And I want them eggs poached like an elephant
Frenchy back on the line, "is that all your order?"
No it ain't, fool, I want a Coca-Cola!

Get my cup of Coke and I'm-a start a riot
Cuz on the cup lid, dude depressed the "diet"
Check his shirt tag, and I catch the name
Brian, I ain't tryin' to drink aspartame

Sittin' on the couch, 'bout an hour later
Pickin' at a pouch of some Now n' Laters
Hardly starving, man, but I find a hunch
Start the car up fast because it's time for lunch

It just takes two bucks and I get what I need
Two beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese
"Supersize Me" said he's had enough of it
But how is it bad for my heart if I'm in love with it?

If you never had McDonald's, heck, well dude you should
It's a party, like a Hardee's, except the food is good
Just don't get a large #2, I plead with you friend
Cuz it'll be a large #2 when you see it again

Enter the store, first you holla, then you
Pick a couple items off the dollar menu
Four hot McNuggets, dessert with custard
Mix the sweet n' sour with a squirt of mustard.

A Big Mac attack, you can max the lettuce
Paying ain't a pain, they take cash or credit
Want a water?  You can pay up there for spring
Or get the free Grimace cup--how embarassing!

They say, "you're playing with a cardiac arrest, my boy"
Only thing bad for my heart's when they forget my toy
Now I'm-a have a milkshake, but before you rant
It's made of shamrocks--now that's a plant

People say it's bad, but I don't believe them
McDonald's is peace--just ask Tom Friedman
Momma catch me with a 'zine, and she's screaming "stop!
Don't you worry, Mom, it's just my man Ray Kroc