New video on the first Tuesday of each month!
Next video: December 6th, 2016!

Remy shows you how to be a YouTube star these days.

Please keep in touch!
Twitter: @GoRemy
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GoRemy-100269801580/

Lyrics by Remy. Mastered by Ben Karlstrom. Music tracks by J-Beats Productions. Special thanks to everyone who has been watching my channel over the years–more videos to come!

LYRICS:

I got a camera, a laptop, some cables, a car
can you help enable me to be a YouTube star?
I need money fast and I’m taking a battering
Student loan debts? No, Magic: the Gathering

Do you use Logic? Never! It’s software. Oh.
Well you need to learn that, maybe Final Cut Pro
Do you have talent? None. Really a pity, though
Zero talent. Oh! You could make prank videos.

Wait! Come back! We’re just at the start!
Don’t you want to learn more about the technical part?
Man I don’t care what the lighting is, it’s dusty and dumb
cuz like the parents of Chinese twins I just need the sun

Pranking it is! And you can think that it’s lame
but I’m thinking them clicks’ll be my ticket to fame
and so I stay up all night ’til my draft is ceased
and in the morning only sight is a masterpiece

Now pranking’s where you put your priority first
You make yourself a little richer and society worse
it’s like Paralympic archery, and I don’t mean harm
but what you really need is a target and a prosthetic arm

I don’t care what the weather is, don’t care if it’s rainy
if I ruin someone’s day or the picture is grainy
so long as I get famous, that’s me to a fault
without that camera over there this would just be assault

The white balance was off, the content should be admonished
I haven’t seen such poor lighting since the time I was Amish
The audio’s so bad it’s practically weaponized
That’s him officer! Ooh, I just got recognized!

Upload time and I’m eating some waffles
The video’s too wide, the picture is awful
Widescreen like the pros! Pixelated confusion!
Not since Gaza have I seen a strip with less resolution.

Sign up for Ad Sense? That makes mad sense.
My account’s got nothing, shoot, how do I add cents?
Pick a good preview image, they might see it wrong
I’m picking out thumbnails like the Viet Cong

But I get a thumbs down? Man, who sent a ringer?
Not since my colon check have I been so surprised by a finger
I guess now that I’m famous I gotta deal with the haters
If I were you I’d analyze the backend data

Analyzing data just like when I was a class nerd
hide under a blanket so nobody sees the password
I look like I’m hacking but feel like Josh Duggar
examining a backend under the covers

No comments, no likes, engagement here’s terrible
and according to wives your face is unbearable
Add lyrics for women, you’re ignoring engagement
Like men today, right?? I need a replacement.

Something women like that’s benign and true
Vampires. Love songs. Combine the two…
That’s not what I mean, that would just be the dumbest
Surely you can do more than just songs about hummus

uh, pranking it is! And you can think it’s a shame
but I’m thinking them clicks will be my ticket to fame
So I stay up all night ’til my draft is ceased
and in the morning–only sight? Another masterpiece

That’s how you make it on YouTube

It’s cool! It’s for a prank.
Oh! I work to feed my kids and now I’m late and may be fired.

I was looking for love in all the wrong platelets
Looking for love

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