My first poem. I hope you like it!

Recorded live at “As Was Written,” at the Lyceum in Alexandria, VA.

Filmed by my friends over at Murderbird Media:

My album is out on iTunes! Check it out!


yeah, I roll like that
was a Cesarian
cuz of my stovepipe hat

born in a passionate nation
of master vocations
no “faster” impatience
or pasteurization

Momma died of milk sickness
“Ow! Oh!” hollering
Talk about lactose intolerant

and Daddy was poor
saying “get it yourself”
couldn’t afford
Playstation -12

I was born in 1809
oh and lookin so fine
with a bow tie
all the ladies saying “Oh my!

God!”–who’d have thought
this little boy
born in Kentucky
raised up in Illinois

would grow up, blow up
do something big
Republican, practice law
run for President

but first–I got to sob,
my girlfriend died
I lost my job
and something deep inside

but if you don’t succeed
then you try again
so I tried and I tried
and I tried again

until I defied the slide
turn the tide again
and then, stride by stride
found my pride again

found a bride again.

My name’s Abe Lincoln, girl
what you thinking, girl?
My heart’ll sink and whirl,
at you I’m winking, girl

what’s your name?
Mary? Oh that’s pretty.
What’s your middle name?
Todd? Okay.

so now I got a wife
I got a life
but a fire is burning inside me
and I feel I gotta fight

against slavery.
Yeah, try to disable the
slavery laws which were
working to enable the

critics of freedom–a lot of them
cynics of democracy
who looked at Dred Scott
and pointed at the hypocrisy

it can’t be this way, can it?
do something to prevent it
to stop the slavery menace
Thinking I’ll run for the Senate

against Senator Stephen A. Douglas
a state legislator
debates across Illinois
where I debate the debater

and drawing big crowds, big draws
never stayed quiet
draws so big
you’d think it was Lane Bryant

But the things he was saying
were so bad and prejudicial
his arguments were
just as sad as his initials

and I lost that race
but I continued to recite
that just cuz most people like something
don’t mean it’s right

I didn’t feel slighted
I felt delighted
cuz folks eventually elected me
to fight for the plighted

Saying “slavery is spreading,
stop it before they flush more”
Don’t you worry homeys
I’m on it like Mt. Rushmore

Civil War breaking out
more is what we’re fearing though
Heard at Gettysburg
four score and seven years ago

but thinking Lincoln’s scared?
Not a Lincoln chance!
ain’t dropping Lincoln logs
up in my Lincoln pants

I dropped an emancipation!
a proclamation!
across the nation!
a lot we’re facing

and when the war was won
thinking we’d make it you know
figured I’d have some fun and maybe
take in a show

shot in the head in the theater by a star
John Wilkes Booth packing heat slipping by a guard
head blown up in the balcony, how bizzare
still not as bad as the time I saw Avatar

and so died a leader
known for mending fences
also known for Lincoln/Kennedy

you know– a secretary named him
a secretary named me
both had a guy named Johnson
working as a VP

both got shot in the head
but did you know this?
my little brother drove his
horse and buggy off of a bridge

I gotta say, that’s my story
the Great Emancipator
Honest Abe, got the glory
maybe I’ll see you later

Spilling noise from Illinois
the land of Obama
I’m on the penny, the five
your mind and your momma

so if you guys wanna criticize
in editorial
I got a question for you
what color is your memorial?


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